Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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