Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
whose parrot is this?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
