Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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