what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
