I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Farmville is her only friend.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You need a sexual gate keeper
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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