The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
