we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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