11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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