Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
