apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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