i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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