Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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