oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
