What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
