am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
