i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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