is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
