do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
