All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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