Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
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Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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