my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
