clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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