she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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