we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You made out with two different species that night
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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