rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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