Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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