Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
