3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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