can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
