I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
