Whod you bang
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
