Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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