If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize