I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
