People in love make me want to vomit
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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