I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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