someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
