i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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