Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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