Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
