Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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