i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
