i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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