she told me i tasted like america
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
