All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize