Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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