i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
