On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
