i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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