I want to stick my p in your. b.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize