Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
In America we eat man semen.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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