Duck Duck Cougar?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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