well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize