My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I would fuck him just for his dog
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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