Do you still have your period?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
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so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
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If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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