Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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