3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
